Friday, August 21, 2009

My Inner Game of....FEAR

So this week, I flunked my driving test...I didn't receive it lightly at the time if you're wondering...I have a tendency to take my self too seriously (you know that by now ;)

But as God presents us with challenges to our self-esteem, he provides us with intelligent books that seem to de-code the reason for why we appear to uncover the "stupidity gene" at exactly the wrong time...

Tim Gallwey, in his book "The Inner Game of Tennis", says: "with minds filled with self-criticism, hesitation, and over-analysis, our actions are awkward, mis-timed, and ineffective", thank you Mr. Gallwey. The tennis coach who was reknowned for teaching tennis to complete amateurs in less than 30 minutes (watch it)!, realized early on, that the key to better learning was less instruction.... basically, the less we engage the logical step by step left brain in a type of activity that requires a "multi-sensory" approach, the more the body will realize its innate potential to do almost "anything" and will produce amazing results...

So, while we believe that our minds give us necessary instruction, it is rather chattering away at our self confidence, "I can't do this", "this is confusing", "I must do this well", messages that come from an innate "fear of failure" springing off from a "judging" attitude that we seem to otherwise keep hidden in our subconscious, and the more we seem to "fail", the less we are inclined to do something challenging and are yet left in our "comfort zones"... wondering...what is it that is wrong with us!


  1. This is where we say: Everything happens for a reason! As simple as "failing" a driving test to get that much knowledge out of you :)
    I do believe that living in the comfort zone is not the solution.. Life if not challenging won't be interesting... :)


  2. I amost failed my driving test here when my "stupidity gene" decided 2 take over in the last minute of the test, although everything went smoothly before. but it was my "luck gene" & the tester's good mood that helped me pass! However, I can't see how one can avoid saying 'i cant do this' or 'i have 2 do this well' , i mean isn't it the fear of failure that motivates us 2 work harder and thus become successful ? I do agree that pre-arranging and the step by step planning of simple stuff messes things up,but when it comes to more serious matters, you should see how I fear failure!!!!

  3. Zaina! Brave girl,do you actually have a comfort zone ;) I think people who know you see you as an example of achievement, you GO girl!

  4. Rana :) love the "lucky Gene"! Well from what they say, fear of failure is far from motivating... it rather stops us from being the best we can be (it will tell us the fall from the top is harder and so we become accustomed to just do what we have done well before, or what we have to do, like go for a driving test ;)) get rid of it, we cant just think it away, since emotions cannot be controlled with the mind (can you imagine yourself forcing yourself to really love someone, or to have faith...)... different approaches should take us to the same place (a zone in which we do things effortlessly and time is enjoyment and a genius is uncovered that we never knew existed), the video shows the author changing the clients focus to using her imagination and humming, other approaches include realizing these thoughts and putting them on paper, as we hardly hear the mumbo jumbo in our minds, and this process slows it down so we can hear it and dispute it, also realizing where they come from, the judging we constantly do has a source in our bringing up and educational system which is based on right/wrong and good girl/bad girl... thanks again for reading this Rana and for your thoughts...kisses

  5. Hi Ruba,

    I loved your post! I've given myself the same permission to just follow what I feel, rather than an outline or some logical format. The intention is what matters.


  6. Thanks David :)... it does sound like a better plan!

  7. What a beautifully timed post for me. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights. Toady I am out of my mind and loving it!

  8. Thanks Cassandra, happy you enjoyed it, I just quoted you on facebook today: "Productivity isnt the product of pressure, nope, it is the product of intention" Cassandra Rae, and people started copying it already! I guess it came at the right time for many :)

  9. Hi Ruba,
    First of all I need to say how proud of you I am my dear are a GO girl type!
    I liked this article specifically, where I always face this inner feel of fear...every time I over analyse things specially on the relationships level...not everything should be logic, but I can't leave a space for emotions, simple reactions or senses to control and lead the experience...instead I'll keep count the steps trying to find the correct way of doing things where I know there is no such thing called correct way for everything! and so I'll keep finding the same result every time until I change the approach, which is to me need more trust and less fear from my side and more trust of the other side too..... don't know how to take things easier and stop counting the steps and controlling the path instead of enjoying the path and following the senses!
    Thanks dear and keep the great job ;)

  10. Thanks Nisreen :) I guess what you said is true for so many of us... and the more we realize it... the closer we are to one day be truly fearless :*
    looking forward to seeing you soon!